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<title>Barber's Ball-Bustin' Bullies</title>
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<h1> Barber's Ball-Bustin' Bullies 
<a href="http://www.shout.net/~dwynne/TFFL.html"><i>@ TFFL</i></a></h1>
<img src="graphics/sepbar-6.gif">
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<center><b>Bullies' head coach, GM, and owner, 
<a href="http://www.cs.cornell.edu/Info/People/barber">Poncherolo</a></b>
<img src="graphics/ponch.jpg"><p></center>

<center><b>[ <a href="#mission">Mission</a> | <a href="#highlights">Press Highlights</a> | 
        <a href="#history">Bullies History</a> ]</center></b>

<a name="mission">
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<h2>The Bullies Mission</h2>
<b><font size+=3>
<img src="graphics/number_4.gif"> To avoid bonehead decisions and dumb-ass trades.<br>  
<img src="graphics/number_3.gif"> To be the best that Emmitt allows us.<br>  
<img src="graphics/number_2.gif"> To secure our greatness in the TFFL.<br>  
<img src="graphics/number_1.gif"> To win.</b></font><br>

<a name="highlights">
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<h2>Highlights of the last Bullies Press Conference</h2>

<img src="graphics/letter_Q.gif"> 
What are you doing to ready your squad for the Torpor Bowl Playoffs?<p>

<img src="graphics/letter_A.gif"> 
"Times have been tough lately.  The Bullies, as you know, have been the 49ers of 
the Butt-Wipe Division for quite some time.  We are trying to return to our form
of old, as we prepare for our 1st 60+ pt weekend." - Ponch<p>

<img src="graphics/letter_Q.gif"> 
Team of Greatness, yes!  Victim of the suck-field?<p>

<img src="graphics/letter_A.gif"> 
"I was reticent in believing that this supposed suck-field really existed, until
we suffered a mind-blowing loss to the Boney Turkey's in what was our best-performance.
Who would've thought that Kent Graham, a f**king Cardinal, could score 24 points in a game.
I offer that as proof of the suck-field phenomena.  As everyone knows, no 
Cardinal QB is humanly capable of that type of performance." - Ponch <p>

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How do you explain starting C Carter on his bye week? <p>
  
<img src="graphics/letter_A.gif"> 
I may not be a smart man, but last weekend I was really an idiot. - Ponch <p>

  
<img src="graphics/letter_Q.gif"> 
Mr. Miller, how do you explain your poor performance of the last few weeks?<p>

<img src="graphics/letter_A.gif"> 
I like to suck balls. - A. Miller <p>

<img src="graphics/letter_Q.gif"> 
Mr. Smith, how do you account for your resurgence into the RB spotlight?<p>

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I am Emmit. - E. Smith <p> 

<img src="graphics/letter_Q.gif"> 
Mr. Ponch, how do you feel about Harvey Williams at this point in the season?<p>

<img src="graphics/letter_A.gif"> 
Thank Emmitt for Anthony Johnson.  
    Let me just say, that I hope Harvey pulls his long-ass 
    neck out of ass pretty soon.<p>

<a name ="history">
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<h2>History of the Bullies Phenomena</h2>

The Bullies made their entrance into the leauge in 1993.  Back then however, they were 
know as <font size+=1><b>the Sheepdogs</b></font>, known mostly for their sheepish
performances on a weekly basis.  "Ironic that back then, we had Emmitt Smith and
Chris Warren, and were still worse than the 1996 Jets." - Ponch<p>

The Bullies next 2 seasons were better than one could hope for, making the playoffs
both years, and losing to the Scrotum last year in the Torpor Bowl Championship
do to that loser a-hole <font size+=1>Jerry Rice</font>. <p>

One might wonder what has made the Bullies so great?  The answer is <b><i>LUCK</b></i>.<p>

After securing the 1st overall draft pick in 1994, the Bullies picked RB superstar 
E. Smith, <img src="graphics/smith.gif">.
"Emmitt is more than just a franchise player.  Great players come and go.  Brett Favre
sucked rocks for awhile before rising to greatness.  Barry Foster, Sterling Sharpe, and
other similar players were great in their own rights, but none are as consistenly
high-scoring and reliable as Emmitt.  Even playing hurt, he's still better
than everyone else." <font sizer+=1><b>Emmitt just kicks ass!</font></b><p>

Despite hard times this season, and despite the dog-old-doggy days of the Sheepdogs,
the Bullies most trying time occurred when owner Poncherlo pulled a big boner,
and traded Emmitt away to the then <b>Floundering Gridiron</b> for Marshall Faulk.<p>

<font size +=2>"What a dumb-ass!" - Reblow </font><p>

"Passing gall stones is less painful then the ramifications of that decision."   
Fortunately, owner and GM of the Gridiron pulled an <i>even bigger boner</i>, and actually traded 
Emmit back to the Bullies for Faulk.  To highlight Flounder's stupidity, he also traded
C. Carter for Alvin Harper.  Harper was promptly traded to the Bucs.<p>

When asked by reporters how he felt about returning to the Bullies, Emmitt responded, 
<img src="graphics/smith.jpg"> "Oh God, please ... yes ... thank you, ... Thank YOU, Flounder".<p>




















